Syncopation

In light of the season, this will (well, should) be the first posting in a brief series on topics of a religious nature.  Some will be lighthearted, some will be serious, and some, like the one you are about to read, are so vital to the welfare of your mortal soul that you must absolutely read them.  And now, the topic of the day, the first step on the narrow bridge over the abyss of eternal damnation, is:

JESUS HATES SYNCOPATION

This occurred to me over the course of two Sundays.  Due to the recent illness of the church music director, the choir recycled the music list from the First Sunday of Advent for the Second Sunday.  One of the songs, "In the Day of the Lord," contains a particularly infectious syncopated rhythm in a scandalously titillating 6/8 measure.  Such was the power of these notes that they were in my head for the entirety of those two Sundays. 

While I was humming along, much to the chagrin of my wife, I couldn't think of another church song that contained such a syncopation.  I've come to the conclusion that, for whatever reason, church music singer-songwriters believe God hates syncopation.  Our God must be one that dislikes surprises.  Jesus likes his accents on the beat, thank you very much, and would prefer we don't go all wily-nily with the melody.  Think about it.  How many traditional church songs can you think of with a syncopated melody?

Albeit, there are those that flout the rules.  Beethoven added an unexpected eighth rest in the final strains of his "Ode to Joy" movement in the Ninth Symphony, which, given his advanced and cantankerous age and deafness, could be construed as a giant F*** You to the church.  Indeed, many hymnals today convert this eighth rest into a quarter rest and put the accent on the beat where it belongs.  Christian alternative rock bands depend heavily on syncopation, because God knows their lyrics couldn't carry their songs.  Unable to compete in mainstream alternative rock, these bands brought their acts to the Christian stage for the refreshing lack of competition and the even more refreshing, mostly disease-free, Christian band groupies.

It appears that plenty of devout crazy people agree with me.  A search for "syncopation in church music" turns up a delightful article in Sabbath Fellowship called, simply, "Christian Music?".  Ephesians 5:19 says, "Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord."

This apparently translates into:

"No one who has an indwelling Saviour will dishonor Him before others by producing strains from a musical instrument which call the mind from God and heaven to light and trifling things." 

The article goes on further to target syncopation:

"Syncopated music with its rhythmic emphasis is intoxicating to the mind. The hypnotic effect of strongly rhythmic music using intense harmonies has a damaging effect on the mind and body."

In other words, the melody of "Camp Town Races" is described like cocaine.  Doo-dah?  Doo-dead.