Ridiculously Giant Red Bow Makers Face Tough Times

In the recent Big Three hearings on Capitol Hill the focus has been primarily on the potential collapse of Detroit automakers and the imminent loss of auto worker jobs. Half of which have been outsourced to Mexico.

But lost in the hubbub of these hearings are those honest, hard-working Americans that corporate media sources rarely mention. Like the pilots of those private jets being auctioned off by GM, Chrysler and Ford. And like those guys who make the giant bows that go on the top of cars.

As new car sales plummet in this dismal economy the collateral damage is staggering. Ridiculously Giant Red Bow makers have shared in Detroit's past successes, but these days their Ridiculously Giant warehouses lay full with their celebratory product. The demand these days is nonexistent. To all those hubbies out there asking Santa for a shiny new Lexus, prepare to be disappointed.

Ridiculously Giant Red Bow makers have attempted to diversify. One such manufacturer fitted three elephants last month with his finest Ridiculously Giant White Bows, a wedding gift for a rich man in Dubai. Banks are looking at Ridiculously Giant Red Bows to dress up their foreclosed properties coming up for auction. And rumor has it that an even bigger Ridiculously Giant Red Bow will be used to gift wrap the White House for Barack Obama's arrival in January, smartly taking advantage of the after-Christmas sales.

The Ridiculously Giant Novelty Wrapping lobby has been calling in favors on Capitol Hill and rallying support for the Ridiculously Giant automaker bailout. Will it be enough to save the truly American, truly Ridiculously Giant, red bow? Only time will tell.

(Hubbub is scandalously underutilized in the written word. I'm bringing it back. Hubbub.)