The Ants Go Marching One By One...

Ants in nature are an entomological wonder that are rightly praised for their complex social networks and considerable physical strength. 

Ants in my kitchen are creepy, devious little critters that must be squished with tenacity at all costs.  Right now the loss of my house would be acceptable collateral damage if I could annihilate these guys.  In all wars the loss of innocent life and property are expected bumps in the path to victory.  Only the resolute press on toward their most worthy goal.

We never had an ant problem before.  I am fastidious with crumbs and I've Windexed any stickiness I have ever found.  This morning, however, one of my cats made the decision to vomit near our kitchen.  In the darkness that is 5:30 am I stumbled upon this Monday morning gift and bemoaned the weak stomach of my feline.  Then I noticed the black specs.

After that it is all a blur.  The rage and confusion of war does that to people, I hear.  I sprayed and skooshed, but they kept coming.  I beat them back, but the little buggers were relentless.  My orange tabby helped by licking up several unfortunate members of the ants' front line.  I am sure she vomited them up later.

It was only five minutes, but it felt like five days.  My eye twitched from the toxic combination of adrenal overstimulation and ant poison.  The war dead lay before me on the laminate field of battle.  The shell-shocked wounded wandered about dazed and confused.  This day was mine, but I knew they would be back.  I will be ready.

…hurrah, hurrah.