Astronomy is Racist

In the news today:  "Texas County Official Sees Race in Term 'Black Hole' "

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,380143,00.html

Due to this shocking revelation in Dallas County, astronomical observatories around the nation are in danger of losing federal funding and theoretical physicists face numerous civil suits.  The terms "dark matter" and "dark energy" have been stricken from scientific literature, as they are obviously thinly-veiled terms meant to keep the black man down. 

Says one activist-cum-amateur astronomer, "Why would anyone name a gravitational singularity a 'black ho?'  It's a galactic lynching." 

When told the correct term was actually "black hole," the same activist replied, "Oh, I have no problem with that," and left to find a real job.

Nevertheless, special interest groups are seeking to revamp the scientific vocabulary.  The "Milky Way" is prejudiced against Asians, who have a genetic disposition toward lactose intolerance.  The Big Dipper is an obvious mockery of the chronically stupid.  Uranus is under fire for inciting involuntary sexual harassment.

"Our goal is to remove all potentially offensive terms that these scientists have dreamt up for their own personal amusement," said one woman with way too much free time.  "Like quark.  I'm not sure what that is, but I am pretty sure it is offensive to someone."