Computer Problems

I'm a pretty important guy. I spend my days updating pretty important
documents and sending them to pretty important people, who reply back to
me in a pretty important manner and make pretty important suggestions on
how to fix their pretty important documents. And, since it is pretty
important, it has to be done pretty quickly.

I had one such task yesterday. I received the email, opened the
spreadsheet and pulled out the reference binder. Suddenly, my keyboard
and mouse refused to work properly. Clicks mysteriously turned into
double-clicks. The Start menu wouldn't stay open. I couldn't navigate
Excel. I unplugged my keyboard and mouse, swapped USB ports, restored
default settings on input devices, but it still wouldn't work. I read
help articles online, but no one seemed to have the same problem I had.
Finally, in a fit of rage and sorrow for the pretty important task that
was taking far too long, I shut down the computer and restarted.

The computer started normally. No problems yet. The login screen came
up. I couldn't log in. CTRL+ALT+DEL wouldn't work. It always works.
Frustrated, I looked up the IT help desk number. I pulled out a pad of
paper to take notes. And I took the same reference binder I had opened
moments before my problems began and moved it off my desk. Off my
keyboard where it rested. Off the space bar, the ALT button, and the
shortcut menu button it was pressing.

My computer issue mysteriously resolved itself.

<sigh>