Welcome, Friends

I don’t get China. And I suspect that, if you live in the United States, you probably don't either.

I think our ability to empathize with China's ideological analog to democracy (communism, totalitarianism, etc) is somewhat limited by the freedoms we enjoy here. I'll provide a couple examples from the Beijing Olympics opening ceremony.

Example 1
The beginning of the ceremony showcased a spectacular fireworks display that began, for television viewers, with fireworks in the form of footsteps leading from historic Beijing to the Bird's Nest stadium. The footprint fireworks were later discovered to be digitally created.

Typical American reaction
Why would you spend millions to fake a televised fireworks display?

Official Chinese reaction
We spent millions of dollars and put in months of effort so you wouldn't find out it was faked. We even added a camera shake representative of a helicopter and consulted with meteorologists to get the hazy sky right.

Example 2
An adorable young Chinese girl brilliantly performed a national song. She was quickly elevated to the status of "National Hero." Turns out she was lip-syncing. To another girl's voice.

Typical American reaction
Was the other girl so ugly that she could not be publicly appreciated for her talent? Are you telling us that, out of a pool of 1.5 billion people, you couldn't find a girl that was both cute and a decent singer?

Official Chinese reaction
During official rehearsals it was decided that the owner of the voice was not fit to visually represent China. We should be commended on finding a replacement (with good teeth) on such short notice.

Example 3
The ceremony opened with 2,008 performers beating a perfect war-like cadence on 2,008 replica ancient Chinese drums. Lost on the rest of the world was that the Fou drum, not readily recognized outside China, was actually a large pot that a host would fill with water or wine. The host would drum the pot to show welcome to guests.

Typical American reaction
Umm, is that war paint on their faces? I'm a little uncomfortable…

Official Chinese reaction
What?? What says "Welcome, Friends" better than 2,008 drummers chanting in perfect unison? Do you need more?? Would 2,000,008 drummers make you feel more welcome? Because we can get them.