How Government Jobs Encourage Mediocrity

In the private sector, a job well done earns you bonuses, promotions, and perhaps even a better parking spot.

In the world of government employment, a job well done gets you more work. This is generally because middle management does very little original work, and their job performance is entirely dependent on the performance of their employees. I have spreadsheets that do more work than some managers. Bad employees are a liability to these middle managers, but good employees are championed as a symbol of the superior managerial skills.

Example: Like many military folk, I have a better-than-average work ethic and a dollop of common sense. In the federal workplace, where I mix with scores of civilian employees, this earns me the title of "hard-charger" or "overachiever." But I get things done, and this makes me a valuable resource. Every workday I become a target for unenviable tasks from senior management, and I try vainly to deflect the added responsibility.

The most recent task that I was targeted for was the Combined Federal Campaign, a huge fundraising effort that had to be coordinate for the 255 civilian members of our department and our 5 military members. Naturally, they decided to give it to a military member, because you just can't ask civilians to do more work than what they are paid to do. I turned down the job three times, in a manner as clearly as possible:

Not-My-Boss-But-Can-Still-Tell-Me-What-To-Do: Are you our CFC volunteer?
Me: Not a chance.

Assistant Big Boss: Hey Bryan, did you volunteer for the CFC?
Me: No. Maybe a civilian could do it.

Big Boss: Hey, do you want to spearhead the CFC drive?
Me: No!
Big Boss: You must have been asked about this before.

As you might have guessed, I ended up being the coordinator anyway. Because, as self-sufficient as I am, I still need the bosses to sign forms, and my Little Big Boss used a travel request to get me.

Little Big Boss (as he is reading the travel request): So how do you feel about volunteering for the CFC?
Me (knowing defeat was at hand): I would rather not, but if you absolutely need someone.
Little Big Boss: Consider yourself volunteered.

I've spent about seven hours over the course of three days on this cursed campaign so far, despised by everyone because I am essentially hitting them all up for money. And my normal workload hasn't decreased at all. So because I work well, I do more work.

But hey, I think if I collect enough money a get a t-shirt or a mug or something.