This New Brand of Patriotism

Question:  If the US Government bails out the domestic auto industry and we all effectively become shareholders in GM, Ford and Chrysler, does that mean it would be unpatriotic to buy a Honda?

Probably not.  Every dependable consumer survey consistently ranks import quality, as a whole, above domestic quality.  The choice of an import over a domestic is more a matter of overall quality and value than patriotism, no matter what Toby Keith may tell you.  Unlike banks, the auto industry isn't suffering because it overextended itself on bad loans.  The Big Three are hurting because they horribly misread their target consumers while their Japanese counterparts understood us perfectly.  They offered us what we wanted at a price we could afford.  They spent large sums of money improving the quality of their interiors while the Big Three developed bigger engines and larger wheelbases. 

I think, in this case, the free market is working extremely well.  The Big Three offered a product that was out of sync with market desires.  Imports filled that void.

Most of the major import brands (Toyota, Honda, Nissan, Hyundai) operate factories here in the US.  If the Big Three failed, there will be pain.  There will be a lot of unemployed people.  But I wager that the Toyotas of the world would be willing to pick up the slack.  They may even recapitalize some of the Big Three factories.  They already have the vehicles we want--small cars, sedans and crossovers with good gas mileage and defensible quality.  Why should we loan the Big Three billions so they can reverse engineer what the import brands have already figured out?  We didn't bail out the electronics industry when it was overrun by superior Asian imports.  Why should we bail out the automakers?

By next year, however, I imagine we'll all be part owners of Ford, GM and Chrysler.  We will have a financial stake in the cars that they produce.  Consider it a tax to keep 2.5 million people employed.  The next time you see an Employee pricing deal at the GM dealership don't consider it an incentive.  We all work for them--we deserve that employee discount.  In fact, you should walk in there like you own the place.

New Orleans Ranks Highest in Crime

In what might be considered a boom for the struggling gulf coast hip hop community, New Orleans is now considered the most dangerous place to live according to the CQ Press' "City Crime Rankings."  New Orleans-based rap artists have been seeking legitimacy ever since new, up-and-coming hell-holes like Camden, New Jersey started to crowd the more traditional hell-holes of Oakland, Detroit, and the Big Easy.

However, this new survey will go a long way in establishing cred for urban lyricists born and bred in the south.  When postulating on the moral dilemmas that are aggravated sexual assault and second-degree murder, Li'l Wayne and P. Miller are now considered experts in their field.  Because when I am being educated on the who's and where's of cappin', I want to be damned sure that the information is reliable.  Felonies are fun!

209 murders in 2007 in a population of 250,000….those are about the same odds as your general Pick-3 lottery.  Anyway, here's the story:

New Orleans ranks highest in crime, survey finds Story Highlights
New Orleans had 209 murders in 2007, according to CQ Press

New Orleans followed by Camden, New Jersey; Detroit; St. Louis; Oakland, California

    
(CNN) -- A controversial ranking of U.S. cities' crime rates indicates New Orleans, Louisiana, has the worst crime rate, while a New York exurb has the lowest.

 The CQ Press "City Crime Rankings" list named New Orleans its most crime-ridden city based on a reported 19,000-plus incidences of six major crimes -- including 209 murder cases -- in 2007.

The Gulf Coast city of about 250,000, still grappling with the aftermath of 2005's Hurricane Katrina, was followed in the rankings by Camden, New Jersey; Detroit, Michigan; St. Louis, Missouri; and Oakland, California.

The lowest crime rate was reported in Ramapo, New York, about 40 miles northwest of New York City, with only 688 total crimes and no reported killings in a city of about 113,000. It was followed by Mission Viejo, California, south of Los Angeles; O'Fallon, Missouri, outside St. Louis; Newton, Massachusetts, west of Boston; and Brick Township, on the New Jersey coast.

Previous editions have been criticized by criminologists and the U.S. Conference of Mayors as a misreading of federal crime statistics. The FBI, which compiles its own Uniform Crime Report statistics, warns that ranking cities against each other can produce "simplistic and/or incomplete analyses," and the American Society of Criminology called last year's CQ report "an irresponsible misuse of the data."

The study's publishers said they dropped previous characterizations of "safest" and "most dangerous" from this year's study, calling those qualities "perceptions of the individuals who live in these communities." But they defended the comparisons as a valuable tool for researchers and the public.

"The book provides the means by which individuals can compare local communities to other similar communities based on comparison to the national level of reported crime as well as crime rates per 100,000 of individual types of reported crime, violent and property crime categories, and overall," the company says in a statement accompanying the data.

The CQ report rated 397 cities larger than 75,000 and 356 metropolitan areas, some of which ranked very differently from their core cities alone.

The New Orleans area was third on the metropolitan-areas list, behind Pine Bluff, Arkansas, and Memphis, Tennessee. Camden, the second-worst city on the cities list, ranked 219th among metro areas. Among metro areas, Logan, Utah, north of Salt Lake City, had the lowest crime rate, followed by State College, Pennsylvania, and Ithaca, New York, the report said..

The data is drawn from FBI statistics on murder, rape, robbery, aggravated assault, burglary, theft and motor vehicle theft.

Running and the fools who partake in it

"One mile…no sweat.

Two miles…easy day.

Three miles…all right…

Four miles….that's enough…

Five miles…now who the $&^# are you???  $&^#ing Chuck Norris??"

A good day does not begin with a five-mile run.  That is a premise of which I am certain.  My justification for this statement are the following scenarios:

1.  You are running for "fun."  You have just expended large amounts of energy and placed undue amounts of stress on your joints and bones to effectively run in a giant circle.  Well done.  Your day will be filled with "runner's high," a form of misplaced self-satisfaction.  People will hate you and throw things at you.

2.  You are running from a bear or other hungry and malfeasant predator.  You have just expended large amounts of energy and chances are you are about to be eaten or brutally mauled.  This will not be a good day for you.

There are Runners, and then there are people who run.  I am a member of the latter community.  I run because I recognize the value of an appropriate amount of cardiovascular exercise, but mostly I run because the job requires it.  I am by no means a shirker of physical activity.  I fall comfortably within standards and for some reason can knock out sit-ups like a fiend.  But I hate running.  Oh, I hate it with a passion.  I hate the monotony.  I hate the pointlessness.  I hate that, by the well established laws of physics, I perform exactly no useful work when I run.  But, most pointedly, I hate Runners.

Runners are easy to distinguish.  They spend inordinate sums of money on shoes and air-wicking skin-tight clothing.  They have, without exception, nice calves.  They think paying for the privilege to run 26.2 miles is normal.  They can tell if you under-pronate just by looking at you.  They can name runners in non-Olympic years.  They invest heavily in gel packs and salt tablets and other lab-created accessories designed to prevent the body from killing itself during long-distance runs.  They subscribe to and actually read Runner's World.  They view a non-Runner as a project and will secretly slip half-marathon applications into coat pockets and desk inboxes.  They think a three-mile run is a "warm-up." 

Unfortunately I work with a large community of Runners.  So I tend to find myself in the mornings on long runs, finishing near the back of the group (but still finishing!).  Most days the Runners send a member to come find me and shout motivational things to me while I gasp and wheeze toward the finish.  Had I any strength, every one of these motivators would have suffered at least a bruised shin.

And so as I end my rant about running I would implore you to remember just one thing:  The first person who ran a marathon died.

He bled purple, she bled gold

Two Dead in Argument over Alabama-LSU Game.

We take football kind of seriously down south.


EVERGREEN, Ala. - Authorities say an argument over Saturday’s Alabama-LSU football game led to the shooting deaths of a couple at a home in southern Alabama.

Prosecutors identified the victims as Dennis and Donna Smith of Brewton. The shooting happened about 7 p.m. Saturday at the home of Michael Williams in the rural community of Owassa.

Williams was arrested and charged with two counts of murder.

Dennis Smith, an LSU fan, called Williams, an Alabama fan, after the Crimson Tide's 27-21 overtime win and an argument ensued, investigators told the Press-Register newspaper in Mobile, Ala.

The Smiths went to Williams' home. Investigators said Smith had a pistol and Williams had a shotgun and fired. Donna Smith was a relative of Williams’ girlfriend.

Business Plan for a Benedictine Monk

Recent events have convinced me that monks are completely underrated. Behind the auspiciously austere persona lies a religious man of power who controls some serious bank. The previous post below hints at some of this power. I've listed a few steps below if you are considering the Monk path:

1. Be a guy. Nuns don't have much cred beyond ruler slapping and penguin habits. If you want to be a nun and have some pull, you will have to actually be super holy (See the Mother Teresa Model).

2. Become a monk. This may be harder than first blush. To be honest, I haven't done any research.

3. Found an abbey in the New England area. It would be good if you had the backing of some living Saint.

4. Become an Abbott.

5. Open a boarding school so that you may share your divine vision with the youngest of God's children. Charge $40,000 per year for such enlightenment.

6. Solicit endowments from wealthy parents and invest wisely.

7. Profit. Show community support by purchasing cool toys like wind turbines and solar houses.

Wind Turbines - God is doing it. So can you!

I am in Newport, Rhode Island this week attending an Energy Management course. We needed a field trip for the course, and a couple geocultural aspects of this small state worked in our favor. For starters, ever since Roger Williams went all crazy up in these parts, Rhode Island has been very religious. This religious fervor led to the creation of numerous monasteries and parochial schools. The existence of old blood in the area has created schools with $40k tuition vying for rich kids. Every school is looking to distinguish itself, and the Portsmouth Abbey School does it with Eco-friendliness. Three years ago they put up a giant wind turbine:

That's a monk standing next to a wind turbine. How crazy is that? Anyhow, the wind turbine generates approximately 40% of the school's annual electricity needs.

Besides the monk mill aspect of the endeavor, I think wind turbines are an embodiment of the future. This white beacon of techno-beauty sits quietly, gently swoosh-swooshing as it generates 670 kW of power. It silently turns to face the wind and spins at a relaxing 28.5 revolutions per minute. It's like a giant white noise maker. I want one in my backyard.

It definitely makes a statement. At 164 feet high, it is visible from the main road about a mile away from the abbey. And even from that distance, the 77-foot blades look like they are spinning quite fast, and in fact they're spinning at a pace of 157 mph measured at the tip. And this particular wind turbine is a small one. It is the only thing I know that moves that fast and that quietly.

We need more of these things

McCain Won Louisiana

John McCain just won Louisiana. It is good to know that my vote will count for electoral votes, even though it appears we bet on the losing horse. Should be an exciting year.

No Iraq!

Well, I found out today that I will not be going to Iraq on January 5. This is a good thing. I did however volunteer for a trip in August 2010, but that is still far enough away that I don't have to think about it. Things could change before August 2010, but as of now I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. It is somewhat odd, however, because in the past three days I had mentally planned the entire evolution and was a tad bit upset that all that planning had gone to waste.

So, no Iraq for me quite yet. But when I came back to my government quarters today I discovered my elevator wasn't working. I guess you can't win 'em all.

Classy

During my recent travels to Rhode Island (the land of Peter Griffin), I elected to ride first class for my brief flight from Dulles to Providence. I still cannot say for sure why this honor was afforded me. Perhaps it was my innate sense of growing self satisfaction. Perhaps it was my stylish GAP wool jacket. Perhaps it was because my seat, 9F, had a large "Do Not Occupy" sign on it. No one can say for sure. All we can discern from this event is that the flight attendant Ramona, a lovely girl from Bavaria, chose me to rise above my peers and to venture "inside the curtain," as us first classies like to call it.

During the next fifty-three minutes I experienced the ecstasy that is extra legroom and unabashed servitude. I used a pillow, even though my head was adequately cushioned. I used a blanket, even though I was adequately warm. I kicked off my shoes because the other first classies had done the same. I tell you, flying in your socks is like hot cocoa by a roaring fire in December. True first classies spurn the idea of ordering alcohol during a short flight. They wish for everyone to know that a mere beer is nothing to them. They pay $126 for the class upgrade so that the poor wretches on the other side of the comfort curtain know that the first classies can afford it. Wealth and privilege is nothing unless people know it. So, in keeping with the unspoken rules of the cabin, I ordered a Sprite Zero, earning an extra bonus point for watching my calories when luxury and beverage selection might induce me otherwise.

When the plane landed and Ramona welcomed us to Rhode Island with her Bawarian W's I knew the dream was over. I was, for the first time in my life, the first one off the plane. I looked back at my beloved seat on that Canadair regional jet, and longed to take it home with me. We had grown close over those fifty-three minutes, and I could tell it would miss me as well. But alas, the whore had another paying customer boarding in half an hour. It may have loose morals and a seat 28 inches wide, but it taught me a lot during my virgin trip inside the curtain. I don't know if I will ever see it again, but we will always have Providence.

Anyway, I'm in Rhode Island for the week, and already I've discovered that the only thing Quahog in Rhode Island is a small clam restaurant. I am so disillusioned and it is only Tuesday.

Matt Wiliams: The New American Hero

Last month, Texas Tech student Matt Williams participated in one of those cheesy kick-a-field goal-for-free-stuff contests during halftime at his school's home game against Massachusetts. He easily made the 30-yard field goal, earning a free year's worth of rent (which he turned down).

However, that was not the end of the road for Matt Williams. Red Raiders coach Leach was so impressed by Williams' performance that he pulled him out of the stands and put him on the team. The following week against Kansas he went 9-for-9 on extra points. Against the pivotal Texas game last night, he outscored the entire Longhorns team 8-6.

Matt Williams isn't a hero because he can kick field goals. Matt Williams is a hero, a cult icon, because he legitimized the dream. When a fan picks up the extra point ball and throws that perfect spiral back down to the field, it could be his big break. When a young man throws a stiff arm during the game of touch football before the big game, someone could be watching. You could laugh at their aspirations, you can mock their dreams, but they can tell you, "It could happen." And now, thanks to Matt Williams, they are right.

Waiting

Well, it is Sunday, November 2, I may have to go to Iraq. on January 5 I won't know until at least Monday, possibly Tuesday. They were nice enough to let me know of the possibility on Friday with no resolution until the following week.

It has been a fun weekend.

It sucks because a year-long trip to Southwest Asia requires no small amount of preparation and planning. I've spent the entire weekend making up these plans. I am incredibly anxious.

I figure there is a one-in-four chance I will be leaving in January. Multiplied by the duration of the deployment, twelve months, my "share" is three months right now. I should feel three-months-in-Iraq concerned, which is probably right, because I definitely don't feel 12-months concerned.

Well, I guess we'll find out in a day or two.